Your wedding is not a competition

It is very easy to get overwhelmed during your wedding planning, so the first thing you need to decide is are you having a wedding or are you gettng married?  Celebrant Melanie Lawson from Oberon, NSW explains why your wedding isn't a competition.

As a celebrant one of the trends I have observed over the years is that weddings are becoming more complex and elaborate.  This is not the case for everyone – many couples embrace a simple, intimate and down-to-earth style of marriage ceremony.  However, I have noticed that many social media sources showcase amazing ceremonies which lead many couples to feeling that they need to extend themselves further and further to achieve the ultimate, perfect, instagrammable wedding. 

Have you found yourself looking wistfully at gorgeous photos of couple gazing into each other’s eyes in front of a waterfall, on top of a cliff or in front of a sumptuous hotel??  Have you been searching for the perfect shade of blue for your ‘night before’ bridesmaid’s PJ’s?  Do you agonise over how much alcohol to serve or what should be included in the world’s greatest grazing platter?   Are you worried that your guests will get bored without a photo booth/garden games/DJ and entertainer?  Do well-meaning friends flood your inbox with photos of stunning wedding dresses, enviable table decorations or to-die-for bouquets of flowers?  Are you frantically trying to lose weight or grow your hair? 

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a breath, look into your partner’s eyes and take stock of what you really want and what you both think is important.  Remember:

1. You don’t need to impress anyone - your guests will be overjoyed to witness your marriage and to share some time together with you celebrating.  They are likely to remember conversations, funny moments, and romantic sentiments rather than what they ate or the colour of the napkins. 
   
   
2. You don’t need to compete with other couples.  Those breathtaking photos on social media don’t necessarily reflect reality.  Often, lots of hard work goes into photos both during the capture of the shot and digital editing afterwards.... and just because your best friend had a horse-drawn carriage or a destination wedding in Hawaii doesn’t mean that these are right for you. 
   
   
3. A wedding lasts a day, a marriage lasts a lifetime.  Think about how much you want to invest in one day.  Compare that with how much you want to invest in a life-long relationship with your partner.  It’s not just about spending money; also consider the emotional investment and the stress and strain involved in achieving ‘perfection’.  Relax, focus on your love for your partner and make your wedding perfect for you, not everyone else! 
   
   
4. Be true to you.  What style of wedding do you and your partner really want?  What do you value?  What inclusions can you live without and what do you consider essential?  Start with your own wish list rather than looking at other people’s lists or suggestions. 

The Celebrants Network has fabulous celebrants in your area who can help you to focus on your perfect wedding your way!  Check out our directory for details.