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How to be a good listener

A key skill in creating a good ceremony is listening. As celebrants we should all try to develop the skill of listening through regular and frequent practice.

Hearing and listening are very different. Hearing is physically taking in the sound of somebody else's voice, but listening is more difficult.

Listening is when we not only hear what the other person is saying, but we also store and analyse that information.

It is easy to think you are listening when really you are just letting the other person talk while you are busy thinking of the next thing that you want to say - this is not really listening!

If you are always talking, or thinking about the next thing you want to say, you are only ever listening to the things that you already know, but if you listen to somebody else, there's a good chance that you might learn something new.

So how is this helpful for celebrants when working with clients?

Celebrants and their clients can often have pre-conceived ideas of the ceremony structure and content. By actively listening to each other the celebrant and client can share their ideas effectively.

Active listening means paying attention, showing that you are paying attention by your body language, giving feedback to check and show understanding, delaying judgement and responding appropriately.

The client can explain their requirements, concerns and preferences and the celebrant can advise on ways to meet those needs and give guidance on any ideas that might cause logistical or other difficulties.

Active listening on both sides creates a successful conversation. Only then can the celebrant and client co-create a beautiful ceremony that is perfect for the client.

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The Celebrants Network Inc - BLOG

How to be a good listener

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